Add Another Branch to Our Family Tree (and a giveaway!)

One year ago tonight that's exactly what the Mrs. and I did. The Mouse came into this crazy world a bit past 1am on May 28th, 2007 and our lives, the Bear's included, were changed forever. I wanted to write the review of the new Frances England record in conjunction with the Mouse's first birthday for a couple reasons. Most notably because the title track is about bringing a 2nd child into your life but also because England's debut album has been the soundtrack for our quiet nights and bedtime kisses. Her music has a special place in the OWTK household and will be forever linked, in our memories, to our children's early years.

Last week Frances England released "Family Tree, her sophomore effort and the follow up to that critically acclaimed "Fascinating Creatures". The new effort comes with the kind of expectations the debut disc did not because while Creatures came out of left field, spurred on by well-deserved blogger buzz and old fashion word of mouth excitement, "Family Tree" puts Ms. England squarely in the spotlight. I've said before that "Fascinating Creatures" is my favorite kid's record ever so of course I was giddy when the new one showed up in my mailbox. While I was incredibly curious to hear the new batch of tunes I was also quite curious to hear how England's music had grown/changed since the world took notice.

I slid "Family Tree" into the laptop and started ripping it to iTunes, the music began, and...after the first listen I was nonplussed. It's not that I disliked the music, far from it actually, but "Family Tree" didn't seem to grab me and take hold like the first one did. Never before had I entered into a relationship with a new record with such a positive bias yet after one spin I was left with virtually no emotional link to these new songs. But then something happened, I found myself singing the hooks of the title track, "Fast Train to Grandma's" and "Tugboat". I was singing these tunes all freakin' day! After just one listen the simple, beautiful melodies had managed to sink their hooks into me. Then it occurred to me as I listened to the music more over the course of a couple weeks - this collection of sixteen original kiddie songs is one terrific record, it just took these ears a few more listens from start to finish to fully realize it. The sequel is a better record, but I cannot say it's head and shoulders above the original and "Family Tree" is not entirely different than "Fascinating Creatures" either. Rather, the new disc serves as the perfect companion to the elder.

"Family Tree" continues with the musical strategy of the debut - keep the songs simple, catchy and built around England's irresistible voice. Hers is a voice to die-for, capable of making anyone smile with the way she pronounces words like "baby", "bug" and "today". She is on my short list of people I would listen to read the phone book. Her voice could inject beauty into an instruction manual - in short, her vocal style is stunning.

I could write about every single song and tell you why each is an elegant three minute portrait of what it's like to be a parent or a child but I'll focus on just a couple, the last two actually. "Tugboat" features the coolest instrumentation of any of her songs, a laid back groove centered around a cool lick on the electric guitar. The tune is a sweet tale of a child pulling a parent through the tough times. What a clever way to flip the script on the usual parent-guiding-child-through-life motif. It's true that at the end of a lousy day in grown-up-land those little munchkins at home are capable of dragging us into a much happier place.

The final song, "You & Me", is more about parenting than being a kid (lyrical territory that England mines very successfully) and it might just be the best song ever written about being a mommy or daddy. It makes me tear up every single time because it reminds me how damn fast these little people that adore, trust and love us with all their might grow up and, far too often, grow apart.

One funny aside - the Bear combines two of the new tunes when she sings "What makes you so different from me...ICE CREAM!" Ha!

Word has it that Frances England is venturing out of her San Fransisco base this summer to bring the live experience to lucky audiences...only problem is I have no idea where she is playing! Ack! There is no "Shows/Live" section of her website. If I find some dates/venues, I'll be sure to post them here.

Official Site of Frances England
Buy the disc from The Pokey Pop

_____________________________________

OWTK wants you to hear this fantastic record so we are proud to offer a Family Tree Giveaway to celebrate both this wonderful music, the Mouse's 1st birthday and the 2nd anniversary of this here blog.

For your chance to win a copy of this stellar release please leave a comment on this post sometime between right now and 11:59 pm on Sunday June 1, 2008. One random winner will be selected the next day and that lucky individual will become the owner of a Frances England "Family Tree" CD.

Scenes from the beach

It's Friday morning. We're 1/2 way through our Sarasota sojourn. A bit of rain in the A.M. yesterday forced us to the Mote Aquarium and Marine Lab, a place we first visited a couple years ago.






The Mote seemed vastly improved/enhanced from the summer of '06 but that is based on my fuzzy 32 year old memory. In any case, we had a very good time.






The Bear was enamored with the starfish, dolphins, seahorses and, most of all, the touchable rays. After a bit of hesitation, she did actually pet a couple rays on their wings. The Mouse, on the other hand, loved the manatees!








Things have not been all peachy-keen down here. The Bear is battling some serious mood swings and is, as I type this, getting put down for a rare mid-morning nap. She has been out of control this morning and needs sleep above all else. Fortunately after day 1, traveling day, I have been able to keep my cool. I shall remain silent on the events of that poor Wednesday. Lesson #1 is never book a super early flight with these two kids. Our effort to have an extra day (we got into Sarasota and we're able to check in to the hotel at 11am!) was thwarted. We got an extra day alright, one with two tired, whiny and pretty much miserable children who were up at 3:30am for the idiotic-ly early flight. Dumb move daddy-o! Other than the Mrs. getting her 1905 Salad from Columbia Restaurant within a couple hours of landing in Tampa, the day was a wash.

The good news is that the time at the beach has been pleasant. Water temp at Lido Beach is 81 degrees, perfect for just wandering right in without flinching. Last night, due to the tide or something, there were huge shells on the beach - the kind you normally have to pay for at those seaside trinket shops. The bear was in her glory collecting as many as she could carry in her little bucket.

After getting cleaned up we headed downtown to Mattison's City Grill. The Bear ate a whole plate of Caprese Salad drizzled with some of the best Balsamic Vinegar ever to pass through these lips - so good that butter was neglected as we dipped bread into the leftover vinegar. The Mouse gobbled up a side of sauteed veggies (carrots, squash and zucchini) and devoured a crabcake with red pepper coulis. Was a nice time as the sun went down and The Venturas, a swinging lil' local jazz band, took the outdoor stage. It served as a nice refresher for the Bear on jazz music, taking solos and such. Then the female singer took the stage and dazzled the Bear. She was transfixed watching her perform with the band and spent the short drive back to the hotel singing the chorus of one of the tunes.

I'm not a great Dad, there I've said it

The Bear has been working through her new emotions, those of no longer being the constant star of a one-woman show, those of growing older and having additional responsibilities and those of coming to terms with the fact that this childhood thing is a process (for example, one cannot learn to read overnight nor can one learn to paint a masterpiece without considerable practice). Tough lessons and emotions indeed. As she gets frustrated easier and easier so have I been losing my cool with her faster and faster. I now find myself in quite a predicament - wanting her to grow up and handle herself better yet at the same time longing for her to remain young, tender and sweet as pie. I gotta think those traits can co-exist!
I had no idea how to talk to her when she flipped her lid so we would butt heads like buttheads all because the adult of the duo couldn't figure out what it meant to act like one when relating to this young lady's crybaby-esque meltdowns.

Add to that this tasty treat: The Mrs. and I started to battle each other about my handling of situations involving the Bear during her freak-out episodes. So not only was my relationship with the Bear getting worse, but the bond with my wife was becoming simultaneously strained.
Needless to say, the past month or so has not been 100% enjoyable in Chateau OWTK.
I'd fall into patterns of calling the Bear names like crybaby, baby, even sissy once or twice, and also shouting comments along the lines of "your sister, who IS actually a baby, cries less than you!"

In my cloudy mind I was toughening her up, making her see what she was becoming. That would, in turn, make the Bear want to change and not cry over every little thing. Yeah, not quite. The reality of the situation was a far cry (no pun intended) from my goal. I became a dad that made almost every situation worse and, at least on some level, was working to destroy the self-esteem of my lovely gal by acting like an ignorant name-calling adolescent.
I was perfecting the circle of poor behavior and shame.

This was up until a week ago. Now I stay calm, or at least much calmer than before, when she acts up. I focus on her positives trying to build her self-worth and make her know how happy her good behavior makes the Mrs. and I. The theory is that kids are pleasers by nature and if she knows she is making us happy she will keep at it.



Why the sudden change? Two things really, most notably I started reading a good book that helped me understand things from a different perspective, one closer to the Mrs' brand of parenting. The volume is entitled "How to behave so your preschooler will, too" by Sal Severe. If your a dad or mom struggling to comprehend the little people running around your home, check out this book. It's proving quite helpful for me...and that's after only a few chapters. The other factor is more nuanced. Something just clicked last weekend, a sort of drug-addict rock bottom moment that made me see a little clearer and really, truly want to start become better in this area of parenting. So far, everyone is a little happier around the house now that daddy is not a psycho and this dad is happier to spend more time hugging the Bear than belittling her.

The Bear has a Going Problem

Over the past few months the Bear has been having a seriously difficult time making it through an entire day without peeing herself. Her underwear is almost always damp and is far too often soaked through to her tights (remaining concealed under her dress) by the time we bring her home from school. Considering she's been using the toilet since she was two years old, which was 2 years ago, this issue is most baffling for The Mrs. and I.

The Bear swears she feels it coming but seemingly refuses to dart over to the nearest potty at that moment. Part of me thinks the pissy panties are an attention-getting ploy now that the Mouse is mobile and requiring more and more active parenting to keep her out of the drawers, bathrooms, etc. Another part, the more reasonable and more hopeful side of me, thinks this is just a case of the Bear not deeming a pee pause-worthy while enjoying a game, puzzle, conversation, book, whatever.


I hope it's the later because a smart little girl can't possibly sit in smelly, moist pants all day just to get an ear full from Mom at night. She can't actually crave that kind of attention, right?
I find it hard to believe considering we praise her and give high-fives when she's dry at the end of the day. Surely that attention is greater than the other kind.

Does this mean she is going to have bad taste in dudes later in life and be one of those women who secretly likes to be verbally abused because, as some of those poor gals would say (if daytime TV is any indication), at least their men are paying attention to them?

Sweet Jesus I hope not.

Music for a Green Planet Winner

Congrats to AS of Artificially Sweetened. She has won the wonderful new Hayes Greenfield eco-friendly CD.

Stay tuned for more giveaways as we celebrate OWTK's 2nd birthday...yep, the terrible twos are upon us!

Philadelphia International Childrens Festival

The international kid's fest sponsored by the University of Penn kicked off this morning in Philadelphia. This homage to all things diverse and kid-oriented features four radically different acts - hip-hop spoken word poetry, Ecuadorian multi-instrumentalists, West African Kora music and North American roots-kiddie-rocker Brady Rymer & his Little Band That Could.

The festival utilizes a rotating performance schedule that has the four acts playing multiple daytime and early evening shows over the next three days. OWTK will be at Rymer's Friday morning gig.

Check out the full sched here and but tickets here. While in Philly, make a full weekend out of it by catching Rebecca Freeza at World Cafe Live on Saturday morning and then have a picnic and a stroll along Boathouse Row. It's going to be a gorgeous weekend in town!

The Soundtrack for Going Green

Many moons from now what will we most certainly remember about the year 2008?
Here's my short list:

• Insane gas prices.
• The subprime mortgage fiasco.
• The many women Roger Clemens has bedded while being shot in the ass with 'roids.
  
• The Greening of America.

Over the past several months we have seen a definite trend in American consumerism and that trend comes in a variety of green hues all designed to, on some level, help preserve our fragile planet but mostly just to sell us more shit we don't need.
Reactionary Conservation meets Insatiable Consumption in an epic death match!

Thanks to this televised movement we have also learned how committed big oil companies are to renewable energy (yep) and that Waste Management is our environmental partner (uh-huh). and oh yeah...Wal-Mart is a dedicated steward of earth (and people) friendly practices.
It's almost enough to make ya vomit.

Fortunately for all of us there is a truly genuine movement, maybe it's even considered a sub-movement at this point, existing somewhere just below the layer of green manure (Eco-Dyed green compost available now at The Home Depot!!!) smothering us these days. This sub-movement ain't a trend or a fad. Instead it is comprised of real people trying to make a difference in their own lives, their community and, thinking more holistically, the planet. Unlike most of the people tripping over themselves to be more green than their neighbor, these folks will probably still be working hard to cure what ails this world even after gas prices come back down to earth.

Anyway...where was I? Oh yes...Hayes Greenfield, a NYC jazz man and the brilliant sax player behind the Jazz-A-Ma-Tazz program designed to bring the beautiful power of the world's greatest musical style to children, has just released (on Earth Day, as luck would have it) a record entitled Music For A Green Planet. It's destined to be the soundtrack for a young green America.

Believing correctly that children are the key to saving us all from certain environmental doom, Hayes and a gaggle of impressively talented friends, including the legendary Joe Lee Wilson, have crafted an entire album around one simple idea - Saving The Planet. To accomplish this weighty task Hayes and the gang have built songs around the framework of recognizable kiddie standards ("This Old Man", "Rock a Bye Baby", "Little Bo Peep", etc.) only with 100% original earth-conscious lyrical content. In less capable hands this idea would produce one of the corniest and most asinine records ever made but with Hayes Greenfield at the helm what we have is a brilliant study in environmental issues that we're all capable of fixin' set against the backdrop of toe tappin' jazz. The genius of this disc is that the rhythms, while fresh and engaging, are inevitably familiar to kids and are able to capture their attention even if they've never before been exposed to jazz. The clever lyrics then nudge open the door to fascinating conversations with young learners hungry to understand new things and filled with the earnest desire to help "save the polar bears!" as the Bear would exclaim.

If of all that isn't enough for you "Music for a Green Planet" includes what will without a doubt be one of the most breathtaking and powerful songs released this year. "The Things We Throw Away", sung by eight year old Carly Sonenclar (from the Broadway cast of Les Miserables), is a haunting examination of all the tiny items we often don't end up using but still discard on a daily basis (think packs of ketchup, duck sauce, napkins, etc.)

Hayes talked to me about "The Things We Throw Away" after his show at World Cafe Live months ago, making it a point to call out this cut specifically. This was before I had even heard the record. His passion for the Music for a Green Planet concept was clear and his love of "The Things We Throw Away" was evident. Now that I've listened to the track over a hundred times (no joke) his love is immensely justified. While the lyrics and the vocals are terrific it is the music that makes "The Things We Throw Away" shine so bright. The bass line carries the weight of the heady topic on it's broad shoulders while the saxophone and guitar take turns invoking both sadness and hope. Stunning.

Listen to samples of "The Things We Throw Away" and the rest of the album here (click on the Listen To Samples box near the bottom of the page).

Not only is the music top notch but this may end up being the most visually appealing records released in 2008 (although Ellis Paul's "Dragonfly Races" will be tough to beat). The record is packaged in recycled cardboard and features a lovely musical tree drawing on the cover (that would look so cool on an organic cotton American Apparel Tee - hint, hint)

If you're going to be near or in NYC next weekend, check out the Music for a Green Planet record release show at the Highline Ballroom.

OWTK wants to give you the chance to hold and hear this amazing album for yourself. Please leave a comment here telling me something you (and/or you & your child) could do to help Save the Planet (think small, like not using paper plates at home...stuff like that).
Do so by midnight ET on Sunday, May 11 2008 and you'll be entered to win your very own copy of "Music for a Green Planet".

We're Going to Newport!

OWTK is heading back to Rhode Island in early August for the Newport Folk Festival! Long time readers of Out With The Kids may recall that we've taken the Bear to a pair of Newport Folk Fests in her young life (at age 5 months and then again at age 1 1/2). Back in 2006 I wrote pretty extensively about the experience of taking kids to the Newport Folk Festival for two days of rock-n-roll and now we get to do it again with two kids which no doubt will yield another looong post. While the headliners, The Black Crowes on Saturday and Jimmy Buffett (what?) on Sunday, are curious selections at best the rest of the lineup this year is pretty stellar - Levon Helm, Cat Power, Calexico, Gillian Welch, Jim James of My Morning Jacket, She & Him (M. Ward and Zooey Deschanel), Avett Brothers, Felice Brothers and Jakob Dylan (solo) among others. I'm hoping they manage to add Elvis Perkins to one of the side stages - that'd be cool 'cause he'd be perfect for that vibe up there.

The 2-day passes are quite a bit more expensive now at $140 a pop ($30 for kids ages 2 to 12/priced at $15 a day - no discount for a 2-day pass for kiddies) as compared to $95 just two years ago and even cheaper when we went in '04 and '05.

Staying in Newport proper is out of the question (rates from $450+) so we will assume our usual sport near the Providence airport where prices are less than 1/3 of what they are in Newport and the drive is an easy 30 minutes.

Somethin' Stinks

My lack of kid coverage for this evening means I won't be at STINK in Brooklyn. My first "industry" event invite and I'm forced to turn it down. Bummer, because the lineup for this year's soiree is packed with terrific kid's acts like Hayes Greenfield (whose "Music for a Green Planet" will be reviewed here on OWTK soon!), Matt Pryor from the Terrible Twos, Ernie and Neal, Bari Koral, Astrograss and many more.

Yet I'll be at home tonight...now that STINKS!

Family Medical Leave - It's a Start

New Jersey became one of only three states to offer family medical leave today when Gov. Corzine signed the long-awaited Family Leave Insurance bill today. As I discussed in a previous post, the United States severely lacks the focus on the family unit that other countries, like Canada and most European nations, display through policies that permit, and dare I say even encourage, both Moms and Dads to spend valuable time at home with a new baby.

Don't freak out!! This isn't socialism. It will be NJ employees, not the government, footing the bill for this program through a mandatory payroll tax of a little more than $30 a year per worker (or about 1/2 of what I pay per year for the privilege of working in a certain township in PA - a cost that nets me absolutely nothing year after year).

Opponents of this bill point to the negative impact on small business as a reason to stay away from universally-available leave programs like this one. While an increased failure rate in the small biz community is the last thing I want to see, this bill is necessary to ensure families are provided with the ability to spend time, albeit a small ration of QT, with a newborn and still receive a paycheck (up to 2/3 of their regular wages).

Way to go NJ! Hopefully this starts a trend and we see other states pushing forward with similar legislation and eventually rolling out even more generous programs allowing parents to, you know, parent their young children a bit from birth before shipping them off to a local daycare facility.