14 October 2007

Saying Goodbye

I am not really sure if I am ready to write this post. I have started and stopped several times over the past 48 hours. The OWTK house feels a little emptier this weekend. At around 3:30 pm on Friday, we lost Kitt - our beautiful brown tabby cat. An ultrasound showed that she had cancer all over her body and there was nothing that could be done to save her. The Mrs. and I had to give the green light to end her life, to put her out of her discomfort and pain. The bear was with us and she was nonplussed - is that the right word?

To say I'm distraught would be a bit of an understatement. Everything I see reminds me of her: the sun shining through the dining room window caressing the half-wall that separates the kitchen. This was her "sun cat" spot, where she would lay for hours soaking up the rays in fall and winter. Yesterday would have been the perfect day for her to be there, a chilly autumn day with brilliant sunlight. Then there are the kitty toys, little soft balls, that are scattered all over the house - we will be finding them behind sofas and under beds for months.

The bear has begun playing with her wooden dog house and Max, the soft stuffed doggie that came with this nice toy from Magic Cabin that she received as a Christmas gift last year. She is taking care of him, hugging and snuggling all day long with this friend that has largely been ignored up until this point. I have to think that, for her, he is Kitt's replacement - a way to show affection in the face of a gaping hole in her domestic life.

If she understands that Kitt is gone, she is not letting on, making a couple "when Kitt gets home" remarks. I think that deep down, she knows this is never going to happen but she is not able to express it.

I'll miss you Kitty. I love you.

5 comments:

Mrs. Davis said...

So sorry, Jeff. We had a similar thing happen with our dog several years ago (when Walter was a baby). It's still sad to think about him. But we scattered his ashes in three of his favorite places and still keep pictures of him.

Dunard2 said...

Jeff, we are so sorry to hear about Kitt. Hang in there -- if you're at work tomorrow, I'll see you then.

landismom said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your cat. It is very hard to lose a beloved family pet--we've gone through it a couple of times since we became parents, and that seems even harder. I recommend highly, btw, a book called The Tenth Good Thing About Barney, if you want something to read with the Bear to help her express her feelings of loss.

Jill said...

I'm so sorry.

Sandra L. said...

Just found your blog while searching for info on Gustafer Yellowgold. This is of course late but I am sorry about your kitty. We had the heart-rending decision to put our hedgehog, Snowy, to sleep five years ago. He had cancer in one leg and could hardly walk--we didn't want to prolong his life if it was going to be miserable. I still miss him and think of him often.

I hope you can always remember your beloved pet with joy in your heart, and that you will be blessed with another wonderful cat, too.