Reflections on the Prior 51 Weeks

What am I on a fiscal calendar? What's up with the year in review in August?
It's been just about 1 year since I left corporate America for a different kind of job. I've been home with my 2 girls since 8/22/08 and we've had our share of fun and of, um, struggles with the arrangement. It certainly hasn't been all peaches and cream, but it was never going to be, nor should anything be perfect all the time. Surrounded by anyone, even those you adore and who adore you, for extended periods of time will occasionally drive ya bats. It's only natural. Right?

I regret very little in life. The mistakes, the wrong turns and such all lead me to where I am today. I'm a firm believer in reflecting and pulling valuable lessons from the raw deals and gaffes in one's journey. As a result, I rarely find myself in a regretful spirit. That said, I regret that over the prior 12 months I didn't spend nearly enough time down on the floor playing ponies, Playmobil people or board games with the girls. Going in to the Stay at Home Dad gig, I told myself and my family that the laptop would stay closed and my attention would be 100% on the kiddies. Looking back now, that statement is laughable. A couple self-employment-business shoes dropped in the last 51 weeks, 1 major one about 4 days after I quit my job (nice timing), both of which had me stressin' quite a bit, and workin' a lot harder to keep things afloat. Those out-of-my-control factors dragged me away from the playtime I'd planned on enjoying.

Additionally, I found that I just don't want to be engaged with my children for 8 hours straight. I can't do it. There I said it. I need Jeffy Time, and a lot of it. I spent many years alone, sans girlfriend and, in actuality, without any real friends. This was a great time in my life. As a result, I cherish my lonely time. I'm completely comfortable seeing movies, bands, watching sports and doing just about anything (or nothing) all by myself. Some of the best moments of the past year involved me writing on the laptop with a This American Life, Spare the Rock, or The Moth podcast playing while the girls frolic together in another room. They've gotten closer as sisters and best friends. I've squeezed in healthy doses of me-time. A win-win. Still, I wish I managed to suck it up and play with 'em more than I did. Those days and moments you just can't get back.

I left corporate America for several reasons but the main one was to be around the kids more often, specifically the Bear. She had just one year left before the school system wrapped it's claws around her for at least the next 13 years. I wanted, and needed, to just have her near me more often. Seeing her for 2-3 hours of awake-time each weekday evening after daycare/pre-k wasn't good enough. So, to that extent, the last year has been awesome. She was certainly near me a good deal, like a shadow at times!

Now the time has come for the Bear to start Kindergarten. 1 week from today I will walk her into homeroom for the 1st time. She is exciting and insists there are no nerves. I'm exciting too, but I feel like I'm going to throw up. Giant sized butterflies? Yeah, a lot of 'em.

So this is it. 5 weekdays left to enjoy my non-school-age daughter. This post is going nowhere. I cannot stop crying. Wish us luck.

Today...

The Bear beat me in a Fancy Nancy Dress Up Stick-On Game (6 accessories to 4), Go Fish (6 matches to 3) and then kicked my rear end in a Wii Boxing match. The final blow came as the little whirling dervish spun around and landed a sideways uppercut shot to the head. The punch seemed to break my Mii in half and as I lay there in two the 4 3/4 year old gal danced joyously around the room singing "I beat up Daddy!" over and over and over again.

Stay at Home on the Road

Last Wednesday the girls and I spent our stay at home day on the road. On a whim, after playing with Harmony, one of the Bear's stuffed animals purchased from the sweetest place on Earth earlier this year, I decided to pack up the troops and head west to Hershey, PA. The Mouse was still in a Baby Bjorn snuggly-thing back then so I can only assume she didn't enjoy all that Hershey's had to offer while lassoed around her Mum's chest. Seeing as how she now loves cows and cute Moooo one of the animal sounds she can make, I figured she would fancy seeing the singing trio of bovines that guide you through the cool (and free) little "factory" tour in Chocolate World. Wednesday afternoon seems a good time to visit as there was NO ONE in line for the tour. A much different scene will greet you on a weekend, that's for sure.

Having eaten in the cafeteria last time, I knew I wanted to stop and have a real meal with the little ladies so with the help of my Garmin Nuvi I located the Chocolate Ave. Grill in downtown Hershey. They served the Mouse one of the best grilled cheese sandwiches I've ever tasted...she devoured it! The Bear enjoyed a huge plate of yummy spaghetti and meatballs (both meals were under $5). The kids got to play with crayons and twisty wax strings that can be made into any number of things. Very, very cool place that caters nicely to kids of all ages. I would return in a heartbeat the next time we're in town. If you're heading to Hershey for the Chocolate World Experience, stop at the Chocolate Ave. Grill for a great meal at a reasonable price thus avoiding the disappointing food court.

After buying three bags of fancy Kisses (Pumpkin Spice, Candy Cane and the best Hershey flavor ever - Mint Truffle) we headed over to the lovely Hershey Gardens. We got in free thanks to Winterthur's reciprical program (love those!) Even though their butterfly house was closed we three still had a good time for well over an hour in the Children's Garden where the kids can kinda roam free.

Next Monday we will spend another stay at home day out and about as the new Please Touch Museum opens in Fairmount Park. We joined during the summer and have been eagerly awaiting this day. Our membership gets our girls free and unlimited Carousel rides for a year! Yeah!!!

Check out Philly.com's interactive Please Touch Museum website.

Cheap Unexpected Entertainment

The girls and I took a little drive today so I could do some drive-thru banking. On the way back home the Mouse fell asleep so I kept on truckin'. I ended up at a Philly-style soft pretzel store nearby, just as the little girl awoke. The pretzel shop sits at the end of a strip mall and to it's left, where a movie theater once stood, is a pile of dirt...currently a construction site. How perfect for a Mouse infatuated with trucks! We sat in the car eating our pretzels and watching from the front row as the big scooper truck collected dirt and deposited it into dump truck after dump truck. We had to be there for at least 20 minutes and the Mouse loved every second of it.

It reminds me, in an odd way, of my trip to Chicago last month with my Dad. Other than the ballgame, I made no plans. We decided on a whim to visit Soldier Field early on Saturday morning and discovered a high school football game about to kickoff. We got to experience the legendary venue from the inside and saw Donovan McNabb's (our hometown QB) famous high school play ball on a gorgeous August morning. A totally random situation that had we planned a visit probably wouldn't have occurred.

I tend to prefer both traveling and living this way...plan-less. I do often enjoy the skeletal outline of a plan when heading into a day home with the girls, a weekend or a vacation but generally speaking I love to wing it. There are seriously annoying downsides to this manner of being, of course. Like in Paris during our first trip there 5 years ago, when it was just The Mrs. and I. We walked for hours trying to decide where to dine one evening. I was so unsure of my choice that I wish I had researched a place and booked it in advance. The wife still brings up that evening every now and again when a plan-less plan of mine goes down the crapper. While that Paris dinner experience could be blamed more on indecision than a lack of a plan (after all it's not like we couldn't find a place to eat and went hungry that night, I just couldn't pick a Parisian cafe for one of our 3 dinners in the city of lights. I wanted perfection and was paralyzed by the fear of anything less).

Many folks can't handle a day without a detailed map of the whats/whens/wheres let alone an entire vacation but sometimes the best plans are the ones not made and the best entertainment is that which occurs all around us everyday...especially for a little Mouse.

What's Up with Us

Been quieter than usual on these pages. There is a good reason for that. I'm still seeking a rhythm to my days, both the two a week at home with the girls and the two I spend home alone. I am backed up on parenting blog topics and CD/Book reviews. I have oodles of fatherly wisdom such waiting to dazzle you, trust me.

Here's a quick roundup of what is going on inside and around chateau OWTK:

The Bear now takes showers by herself. She just got out of the bathroom actually and it's pretty cool to see her growing up in that way. Now, the reason she was showering again this morning after one just last night is that she soaked the bed with pee. So, maybe she's not growing up that fast after all...and you know what, that's alright too.

The Mouse is sorta getting snuggly. She is less robo-baby and more like a warm blooded animal who loves her family. Pretty sweet. The hugs and kisses come in short bursts but when they come they stop time.

It is a lovely day here in SE Pennsylvania. 74 degrees, sunny and breezy. Perfect weather for day baseball and, wouldn't you know it, the OWTK gang are heading to the 4pm Phillies game this afternoon. 4pm is such an ideal start time for a midweek baseball game. Arrive before rush hour and by the time the game concludes around 7pm, the traffic shouldn't be too unbearable. Those 1:30pm starts are brutal as the game typically let's out at 4:30...possibly the worst time to be on the road around here (and in most metropolitan areas in the country).

The Bear has been introduced to The Muppets via the season one DVD series. I also showed her Muppet Babies via YouTube clips. She loves it all. What great shows they were. Her early favorite is Animal. I still like Beeker.

Also digging Jane and the Dragon DVD series (review to come). Had no idea what this was when it arrived but it's great, witty "girl-power" stuff set in medieval times.

My 1st Day as a Stay at Home Dad

Yesterday was inauguration day. Wednesday, September 3rd 2008 marked my first day as a Stay at Home Daddy-O. From 7:30am to 6:00pm it was just me and my girls. Amazingly enough, we all came out of it unscathed and still friendly with one another. We really did have a good day. We spent time at the park, painted in the backyard, built towers with blocks for the Mouse to knock down and jumped on the bed.

All day this simple sentence kept running through my head - Being a parent is easy but being a great one, like the most important things worth doing well, is difficult.

On Departing

At High Noon today I saddled up my trusty horse and rode off into a rare mid-day sunset. To the untrained eye however, it probably looked like I was simply walking out of work for the last time.

A surreal feeling. I spent just about 30% of my life inside those walls with that organization and to be officially gone feels both comforting and very odd. As I type this at 10pm on Friday night it's as though nothing is different. I imagine that will change come Monday morning.

What I have not addressed here since announcing this big move is what you, my loyal OWTK reader, should expect once I am fathering "full-time". The plan is to write more...more parenting wisdom (ha), more CD/Book/Movie reviews and, more broadly to grow this parenting blog thang into an international phenomenon...sound good? Heck maybe I'll even complete an entire post without a single spelling error...a guy can hope, right?

My Last Week of Real Work

I'm 1/2 way through my last week at the desk job. On Monday August 25th I will officially be professional-unemployed and then on Wednesday Septemeber 3rd I'll officially be a stay at home dad...and to be perfectly honest I don't know which one scares me more.

Why So Dark?

OWTK has been dark for it's longest stretch. That's not a sign of things to come...quite the opposite actually. It's been a weird week +. My lower back gave out last Monday causing me much pain and discomfort through Friday. Also on Friday, bizarre joint pain and sweating fits started, causing the doctor to mention Lyme Disease and require me to get blood work done. Now I'm not sure if I'm more scared of the story in the blood or the device used to extract the stuff.

Oh, the other big news is that on Thursday I gave my notice at work. I'm abandoning my super comfy well-paying gig to become a stay at home dad, effective August 22nd. The Mrs. and I decided that I would resign from the day job to dedicate more time to being a father to the girls, especially since the Bear has one year left before thirteen (at least) straight years of school begin. I'm nervous as all hell, but I take that to be a good thing. The girls will still remain in school for a couple shorter days each week. Basically, they will go from 40 hours a week to about 15. During that time OWTK will be expanded and ye olde tee shirt shop grown (hopefully).

It's bound to be difficult at times, financially speaking, but I simply could not face turning 40 or something and seeing my girls, then 12 and 9, and facing waves of regret because I chose not to spend as much time with them as possible when they were still young and impressionable...just to chase a paycheck. We are finally in a position to, after a year of planning, to give this a go.

So in late August (assuming I'm still alive) I will embark on what lines up to be a pretty spectacular journey with my little ladies. I see days of arts and crafts, kitchen experiments and baking, trips to museums and hopefully snuggly naps together every day.
The Bear's wish, stated last night in a cute little pretend baby-ish voice...and I quote "Yay stay home with dada! Snuggle and read books all day!" I had to tell her how great that sounds but that her little monster sister is also going to be staying home with us...so hours upon hours of book reading together in bed might not happen at least not until the Mouse become less of a wrecking ball.